Word to your moms: But not today


Since it is so close to Mother’s Day, I asked my mom what have been her favorite things from all of her visits to Los Angeles. I hope the next series of posts gives you some ideas on how to how to celebrate that special lady in your life this upcoming weekend.

When I asked my mom to help me with these posts by listing her favorite things, she responded: “I’ve liked everything, you always know what to choose and we see different things every time.”

Very Mom.

When I urged her to choose a top five she came up with the list of things that will be featured over the next few days.

First up as many laughs as there were groans….

Starline van tour of Malibu Stars’ homes:

DISCLAIMER: I would say that this first entry counts more as a memorable experience than a firm recommendation. The following may not exactly put this on your list of  “must dos” in L.A. It counts as a favorite thing because we still talk about and laugh about our star tour to this day.

In 2011, after living here for six years, I finally went on a Starline Tour under the guise that it was my mother who wanted to go.  I don’t know what drew me to suggesting it, maybe it is seeing all of the vans and double-decker busses zig-zagging through the city for over half a decade. Although a tour of this sort is not a vehicle for seeing celebrities, as we were about to find out, a Starline Tour is the right kind of silly fun that my mom and I enjoy. Starline offers many tours of Los Angeles ranging from movie locations, a haunted tour of Hollywood, and they offer daily shuttle service to Disney. We decided to take the Malibu Stars’ Homes tour leaving from Santa Monica based on the fact that this tour offered 10 minutes of rest and relaxation on one to be determined section of Malibu’s 27 miles of beaches.

The Malibu Stars’ Home tour leaves daily from Santa Monica Pier. It was us, a family from Wales, and three sassy retirees from Texas all wearing leopard print in a topless 10 passenger van. As we put on our headphones, the driver warned us that only one side of the ear piece would be working that day. I don’t know why we didn’t see that as a red flag. Instantly queued up were The Beach Boys, and their signature surf guitar. When we passed by Hotel California, the famous Eagles song played coincidentally at the same time. It was all just a little too much.

In the Santa Monica portion, we learned about all of the real estate that the former governator owns in the area and usually Arnold is out and about, but for some reason not today. We were told that if it were only yesterday, we would have seen him with his son on the very same tour. We headed up the Pacific Coast Highway with the wind in our hair. On our way we saw Bob Hope’s house, Leo’s house, Jeremy Piven’s, Demi and Ashton’s, (together at the time) and Charlize Theron’s – who is very friendly and will usually come out and say hello, but for some reason not today. She must have been filming something.

Mid-trip we stopped to stalk someone who may or may not have been Jeff Bridges’ son. Imagine if you will, you are Jeff Bridges’ son and you are trying to cross back over the PCH, a la Frogger, and there is a car load of ladies in leopard  print matching outfits with cameras snapping at you and you can hear a man whispering, in a loudspeaker…

“That  looks like a Bridges, maybe his son, or grandson, I haven’t seen him before, but it does look like a Bridges brow line, hmmm.. I am not sure.”

It was at that point that it started to feel a little like a safari.

We headed up towards Malibu Lagoon and saw where Matthew “I don’t like shirts” McConaughey, Pamela Anderson, Kid Rock and Sting live. Before we arrived at the famed Malibu Surf Beach, I knew what was coming. I elbowed my mother and said “I bet you $50, the next song is Wipeout” and it was.

After we headed a little further north to where Adam Sandler lives, who is very nice and will come out to sign autographs, but of course you guessed it, not today.

At a certain point every “not today” was preempted by my mom and I, followed by a fit of the giggles. I think we had fun with it, but I think the family from Wales were bummed.

$39 for adults (online purchase price)

NEXT UP….In continuing for my mom’s picks for Los Angeles, we go for nostalgia.

One response to “Word to your moms: But not today

  1. Pingback: Santa Monica 101-Part II: The Santa Monica Pier | This Ugly Beautiful City·

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