Hollywood: Hidden Doors Part II

Welcome to my second installment of Hidden Doors. In this series, I will be your guide to speakeasies hiding a stone’s throw from the most touristy areas of Hollywood. If you missed my first Hidden Doors installment about the Magic Castle, click here. In this second and last post in this series, I will talk about a bar once the home of silent film star Charlie Chaplin. Today, I will be talking about No Vacancy (at the Juniper Hotel.)

No Vacancy

No Vacancy is one of the many speakeasies in the Hollywood area conceived by the Houston Brothers. Their bars/clubs in the area have an element of surprise and theme. Breakroom 86, in Koreatown, is set in the 1980s and accessible by a vending machine. At Goodtimes at Davey Wayne‘s you are brought back to your parent’s friend’s basement with all of its 1970s interior intact. No Vacancy’s theme is the Old Hollywood 1930s, and the former home of Charlie Chaplin is the perfect location for Burlesque and bacchanal.

Although No Vacancy isn’t exactly hiding from view, it is on weekend nights so obviously a club, and getting in can be a little confusing. From Angelenos’ inability to form lines to zero guidance once you reach the hotel room doors, you may be tempted to turn around and walk away. I am here to guide you on how to get into this historic venue in Hollywood and a pretty great bar. Here is a tale of two visits, the same weekend night a few hours and weeks apart.

One night in autumn on a Saturday @ 8:PM

We arrive a few minutes before opening time, having wandered into a couple of themed bars in the area, and walking back out. Our group of four and another couple were the only ones in line and had to wait until they were open. We got in immediately a few minutes after 8:00.

[Information about the secret entrance comes in a couple of paragraphs]

We go down the stairs and straight to the bar and have first dibs on a bartender that looks like a young Sylvester Stallone. There isn’t a menu for us to look at and instead, we tell Sly what type of spirits and flavor profiles we like, and we end up with a concoction that is very much us. It is almost like fortune-telling in cocktail form. I loved my drink, but alas it has no name so I can never order it again.

We grabbed a table in what looks like a library and chatted with a security guard who tells us the history of this place. That is how I come to learn that it is Charlie Chaplin’s former home. We have a few drinks waiting for the burlesque show to start, but we get antsy and leave by 10:00, in hopes of hitting Good Times at Davey Waynes. If only we had waited another hour.

One night in summer on Saturday @ 10:PM

When we arrived, there was a crowd around the entrance. Not a line, a crowd. I am always astounded by the inability Angelenos have for forming lines. How many times have I waited in line for a drink or to get fast food only to find that the people ahead of me weren’t really in line. It is something you notice here. I digress. It took us a while to figure out what was going on. We spot a doorman dressed in theme, but more 80s than 30s. He works himself around the horseshoe-like crowd, inspecting those eager to be let in.

“How many in your group?” He asks. At that point, we were four.

He lets some people in on the right side, then goes back to surveying the crowd. A drunken group of about ten people shows up. I gather from the conversation that they had been there recently but were turned away due to the dress code. A man in a backward baseball hat is gripping the waist of his pants because they are five sizes too big. They had just returned from Hollywood Blvd. and bought pants to wear over his dress code offending shorts and returned to the “line.” I know this because other people show up wearing shorts, and he loudly shares his secret to getting around the rule and offers to sell the extra pants for $100.

The door guy seems to concentrate all of his attention on this group. Our group, in the meantime, has grown to five. The doorman tells us that he is going to let us in next, but next comes and he lets a group of girls in on the left and then groups on the right a couple more times. I notice palms being greased. He comes back to the shorts-wearing group, and now the concern is that Mr. Big Pants is too drunk to be let in. Mr. Big Pants rallies a hardly convincing “I am not drunk, just tired” excuse even though he can barely stand. They are somehow after all this waived in. Meanwhile, our group which has now expanded to seven, waits well over an hour to get in.

How do you get in in

Once through the velvet rope and your ids are checked, you are pretty much on your own. This is where I can help guide you. Follow the dimly lit corridor up and to the right until you reach three numbered doors. Your last task to getting into No Vacancy is choosing which door to open. To save yourself some confusion, it is the last door on the left. Inside a woman sits on a bed in vintage lingerie which feels a little voyeuristic. Perhaps this is why on our second visit, the person who opened the door jumped back, shut it immediately, and apologized. Do open that door, walk inside, and listen to what the woman says, she will reveal the secret of getting into the club. I won’t tell you here as not to ruin the surprise.

This time the bar is packed, there is a menu, and Stallone is nowhere to be found. We do end up seeing the burlesque show this time, but due to the crowd, I can only see it from the tassels up. By the way, Mr. Big Pants has stripped down to his shorts and is spilling his drink everywhere.

What a difference two hours makes.

The crowd is pretty eclectic at No Vacancy from Mr. Big Pants to women dressed in vintage pin-up. You will definitely fit in as long as you adhere to the dress code.

Hours, cost, and other information

• Website: http://novacancyla.com/
• Ages: 21+
• Hours: 8:PM-2:am Monday – Sunday
• Cost: Free to get in. Drinks are around $18. One can reserve a table, and prices are available upon request. Booking a table does not guarantee that you will see the burlesque show sadly. The reserved tables are around the patio’s perimeter and this is where everyone stands to see the show.

Coming soon…Is it possible to find nature in chaos?

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